Hell NO CIO! Response

An amazing blog that I follow Woman Uncensored deeply touched my heart as I read the most recent submission, Hell NO CIO!

When my daughter was about 18 months old, and recently weaned due to pregnancy-related nipple soreness, we decided that we should get her into her own bed before the new baby came so we Cried it Out. We tried to modify the standard technique by putting up a crib at the foot of our bed and place her in there so that she could see us and know that everything was okay. This may have been worse than putting her in a room by herself. She spent 3 nights screaming "Mama! Mama! Dada! Dada!" and it killed me not to pick her up and comfort her. After those treacherous 3 nights, I stopped that madness. I knew so strongly that it was wrong and I regret it more than anything else in my life that I've done.

We ended up changing our sleeping arrangement to meet the needs of both of our children with me and the new baby in the bed and Daddy and Chloe on the floor where she was free to cuddle and be held or to come up in bed with me and her brother.

I do think that her experience with crying it out left her scarred. She is insecure and always thinks that we're going to leave her; she'll be 4 in 2 months.

If there was anything I could go back and undo in my life, it would be making my sweet child suffer because it was "logical." Even now, years later, I am left raw with the sound of her teary screams in my head and it makes my heart ache with guilt and sorrow for that poor precious girl who didn't understand what was going on or why she suddenly couldn't feel the comfort of her mama's touch. Sometimes I see her sleep and remember it and just lay with her and hold her, trying to make up for what I did but I know that I can't erase it from her life. I can only hope that by our responsiveness from then on will help her balance out and feel secure again.

Our sleeping arrangement is not popular or something that I enjoy explaining to anyone because of the judgement that I see in their eyes or looks or even words. But they don't understand. We are now listening to our hearts and doing what we feel is the best thing for our children and we love it. They will be welcome by our side forever and when they ask for a bed in their own rooms, they will receive it without any hestitation. There is a little toddler bed in our "family bedroom" whenever one of them wants to use it but for now they feel safe and comfortable next to us and sometimes even each other.

Thank you Woman Uncensored for bringing back to this painful yet healing place and for helping to spread the word that Crying It Out is something that no baby should have to endure!

Check out her blog at www.womanuncensored.blogspot.com