Cereal for Idiots

When Chloe wants to eat cereal, she gives us step-by-step instructions in case we don't know what we're doing. She says, "Mom I want cereal. Cereal and milk and big spoon and big plate and napkin." It's only with cereal that she does this but it's every morning without fail.

Auron, of course, has to do everything his sister is doing so he started this request list as well but his goes something like this: "Mom. Mik annd... mik annd... mik annd... mik..." and he'll just keep going until I agree to fill his request.

I love how my kids think I don't understand the process of making cereal! I cook all the time you guys! And meals much more complex than cereal.

"But what is the Dad supposed to do?"

While teaching a Benefits of Breastfeeding class today, I was asked by a father-to-be, "But what is the Dad supposed do?" I explained to him that he does not have a direct responsibility during pregnancy besides supporting his lady and that breastfeeding is simply an extension of pregnancy and his job is to continue to support her through that journey. "Besides that," I continued, "everything else that you do with a baby is still availble for you to participate in."

Why is it so necessary for persons other than Mom to feed the baby? Why can't they feel fulfilled in just holding and loving the baby, why does it have do be feeding?

In fact, I appreciated the directness of this gentleman because it meant that he truly cared about his baby. I wish women were a little more outspoken like this so that we could have genuinely honest conversations about breastfeeding. I think if this were the case, many more issues would be solved and the result might just be higher rates of breastfeeding.

Any comments?

When I think of being pregnant, I eat hot sauce.

So we're offically trying to conceive our third child and I never thought I'd be here. My plan was always to have 2, stay home with them, and go back to working full-time when they started school.

But plans change and you never know what Future You is going to want until it turns into Present You. About 8 months ago I started getting a little tickle inside that meant "have another baby!" but I wasn't in a place to acknowledge its existence. I had finally gotten used to juggling 2 kids and was happy with life. I could not fathom throwing another into the mix! So I pushed it away and set up semi-permanent residence in Denial.

I was able to sustain this stubbornness until 2 months ago. All of a sudden I woke up with a bad case of Baby Fever. Luckily for me I work around moms and babies all the time but this only exaggerated my feeling of need. This lasted a week and then disappeared and I was left with the peaceful acceptance of another baby.

Now it's just a waiting game and in the meantime I'm prepping my body to grow life. I'm also preparing mentally and here's where the hot sauce comes in. I get terrible acid reflux when I'm pregnant and in anticipation of this I've had a very long-running craving for hot sauce.

The Truth is Out There

I just found this fantastic website: http://www.drmomma.org/
If you want to know the truth about all things breastfeeding, circumcision, co-sleeping, and more, this is the place to go.

Hell NO CIO! Response

An amazing blog that I follow Woman Uncensored deeply touched my heart as I read the most recent submission, Hell NO CIO!

When my daughter was about 18 months old, and recently weaned due to pregnancy-related nipple soreness, we decided that we should get her into her own bed before the new baby came so we Cried it Out. We tried to modify the standard technique by putting up a crib at the foot of our bed and place her in there so that she could see us and know that everything was okay. This may have been worse than putting her in a room by herself. She spent 3 nights screaming "Mama! Mama! Dada! Dada!" and it killed me not to pick her up and comfort her. After those treacherous 3 nights, I stopped that madness. I knew so strongly that it was wrong and I regret it more than anything else in my life that I've done.

We ended up changing our sleeping arrangement to meet the needs of both of our children with me and the new baby in the bed and Daddy and Chloe on the floor where she was free to cuddle and be held or to come up in bed with me and her brother.

I do think that her experience with crying it out left her scarred. She is insecure and always thinks that we're going to leave her; she'll be 4 in 2 months.

If there was anything I could go back and undo in my life, it would be making my sweet child suffer because it was "logical." Even now, years later, I am left raw with the sound of her teary screams in my head and it makes my heart ache with guilt and sorrow for that poor precious girl who didn't understand what was going on or why she suddenly couldn't feel the comfort of her mama's touch. Sometimes I see her sleep and remember it and just lay with her and hold her, trying to make up for what I did but I know that I can't erase it from her life. I can only hope that by our responsiveness from then on will help her balance out and feel secure again.

Our sleeping arrangement is not popular or something that I enjoy explaining to anyone because of the judgement that I see in their eyes or looks or even words. But they don't understand. We are now listening to our hearts and doing what we feel is the best thing for our children and we love it. They will be welcome by our side forever and when they ask for a bed in their own rooms, they will receive it without any hestitation. There is a little toddler bed in our "family bedroom" whenever one of them wants to use it but for now they feel safe and comfortable next to us and sometimes even each other.

Thank you Woman Uncensored for bringing back to this painful yet healing place and for helping to spread the word that Crying It Out is something that no baby should have to endure!

Check out her blog at www.womanuncensored.blogspot.com

Auron's Birth Story

I had a great pregnancy with my second child. I gained less than the first at 31 lbs vs. 42 and I even craved vegetables! I was much more active having to chase around my daughter and was much more aware of the consequences of sitting on my ever-expanding tush too much.

Shortly after being diagnosed with mild preeclampsia at almost 38 weeks, my labor was induced. I was not thrilled and wasn't exactly prepared to have a baby ON-DEMAND!

Since I live an hour away from the hospital where I delivered and Daniel was at work that day, induction was delayed until he could get there. I sent my friend home with my 23 month old, Chloe, which I was admitted to triage for the initial registration procedures. They monitored my non-existent contractions, started an IV line (I didn't want this originally but it was necessary for induction), called for my doula, and waited for a room to open up. I chatted with the nice nurse taking care of me to try to calm my nerves. I was excited about getting to meet my new boy but I was nervous about the Vaginal Birth After Cesarean. I also was unhappy because I was in a hurry that morning and had skipped breakfast, thinking that we'd have a nice lunch later that day while we were in the city.

So I finally get my room about 2 1/2 hours later. The birthing suites at this hospital are very nice and I don't have to share it with another birthing mom like I'd have to if I had him at my local hospital. Daniel finally got there and that helped dissipate the anxiety that I was feeling. The nurse came in and started my Pitocin drip and explsain that we'd have to take it slow to avoid uterine rupture (which happens about 0.01% of the time).

Starting time: Friday, 3 p.m. Dilation: 2.

The contractions start after 45 minutes or so but aren't strong enough to change my cervix. This is discouraging because they stay weak for hours even though the Pit is continually being increased. We try to stay patient and just wait for them to get stronger and walk around to try to encourage then to strengthen. My doula tries to stimulate contractions by doing acupressure on my feet, uses aromatherapy, and we have James Taylor and a birthing ball on stand-by. My adrenaline is pumping and makes it hard for me to sleep and I feel like if I'm not concentrating on the contractions, they'll go away.

It's Friday night and we're getting no where. I send the doula home because she's tired and there's nothing for her to do anyway and I try to rest. Between the constant BP checks and my impatience, I can only catnap.

Saturday morning comes slowly and midwife on-call begins pressuring me to let her break my water and my refusal is making her grumpy. She thinks that it will help my contractions get stronger but I know that it's risky because it starts the clock and could lead to Failure to Progress and a c-section. I worked to make my water bag strong during pregnancy with Vitamin C so that I could enjoy cushioned contractions and try to prevent a repeat section. And so, I am adamant: do NOT break my water, lady!

Most of the day passes without any progress and we consider ignoring medical advice and just going home to wait for labor to happen in its own time. But we stick it out a little longer.

In our boredom, we decide to take on last belly shot:

(I refused to wear the gown)

Saturday, 5 p.m. Everything changes.

I roll my Pit cart with me for yet another potty trip and to my delight, I see my mucous plug! That's when I know my body is finally going to cooperate and we don't have to piss off medical staff by walking out. I tell the nurse that I'm ready for my water bag to be broken and she sends for the grumpy midwife.

Midwife comes, checks my cervix before breaking the bag: 4!! and much softer than the last check a few hours ago. Approximately 47 seconds after my water is released, I'm hit with a monster contraction that sets the pace for the next 10 hours of labor. It's ON!

From the start, I have to breathe through the rushes and use my prepared methods of coping. We're all happy that it's finally happening and I enjoy the real contractions that I'm finally experiencing. I sit on the birthing ball and rest my head on the bed while my doula rubs my back. I have Christopher Cross on my Mp3 player and it's helping to keep me in a happy place. I keep the lights low. Occasionally, I change positions; I drape myself over Daniel as we sway and breathe. At one point I use the bright lights of the city out the window to distract myself and I feel like something bigger. The doula helps me replenish energy with saltines, Gatoraid, and honey packets and it works nicely.

I'm able to stay relaxed and deal with the contractions for about 7 hours but the Pit is still being increased and they are now becoming more than I can bear with little food and sleep. Once the exhaustion starts taking control of me, I begin tensing up and it hurts much more. I move all over and try every position I can think of to relieve the pain but nothing helps. At 8 hours Post-Waterbreak, I'm done. I can't stay in control anymore and I ask for help. Everyone in the room has read my Birth Plan which strongly states that medication is NOT welcome in my room, so the response I get from Daniel and the doula is "You can do it! You're strong!" At that point I don't have the energy to try to convince these people that what I need is an epidural, so I scream something to the effect of "NO! DRUGS!" and the nurse gives me the rundown of my options, smart lady. I've already experienced IV drugs (with Chloe) and they do nothing but make you tired so I opt for the epidural.

Sunday, 2:45 a.m. Epidural insertion and Cervical check.

The midwife came in to do the pre-epi check. Just to remind you, I was a 4 when my water was broken EIGHT HOURS EARLIER! She tells me that I'm fully effaced and at a 5. I may have cried at that point. It seemed like I worked really hard for almost nothing and felt even more sure about the epidural. Once inserted- OW! -I'm cathed half-conscious, and Daniel and I both crash hard!

Post-Coma Drama

I'm contracting strongly in good patterns before I sleep and the midwife is confident that I'll continue nicely. Then after what seem like 6 hours asleep, I wake up with a weird pain and I attempt to wake Dead-to-the-World Daniel and it takes me SCREAMING at him to get him up so that he can fetch a nurse to come help this half-paralyzed screaming woman. The nurse explains that it's a "hot spot" that happened because I was laying sort of tilted which made the epi not distribute properly, they help me readjust and reassure me that I am NOT dying.

THE MOMENT ARRIVES!

Since I woke up and it's been almost two hours since I was last checked, the very nice midwife on-call comes in to check my progress. By this time, I'm wide awake and feel surprisingly well-rested. So she's down there and a few seconds later (still checking), she turns to the nurse who was checking my vitals and gives her this wide-eyed look that I don't understand. Thinking the worst, i tell her "I haven't progressed at all, have I!?" She ignores me and tells the nurse, "There's nothing there! She's ready!" Then she told me to try to push and is visibly impressed and then runs out of the room to prepare for the arrival of this baby! As she's running out of the room, I feel nauseous and tell Alexis, my doula, who grabs a basin to catch the vomit and I feel better after. Obviously I was in transition.

Now I'm feeling overwhelmed. I didn't think I'd EVER get to this point, the point in which I'd be ready to actually push my child out like God intended, so I start reciting my list of requests: I want to be upright to utilize gravity, I want the lights to remain low while my son comes out so that he's not blinded, and I want warm compresses to help me stretch. My biggest concern at that point was tearing. Someone asks me if I want to use a mirror to help me see my progress as I'm pushing and I love the idea.

Finally a doctor comes in and informs me that 4 other women are crowning at this very moment and that all of the midwives are unavailable and that she will be delivering my baby. She's very nice and supportive and does everything that I ask her to do. I express my concerns and someone shows her my birth plan. I tell her that I want the cord to stop pulsing before we cut it. I get set up with a squatting bar then Daniel and Alexis hoist my legs onto it so that I'm in a nice upright squatting position.

Pushing was definitely not what I had expected. I thought it would be hard. I thought that it would take effort. A lot of effort! But it was easy. I had spend the pregnancy strengthening my pelvic floor muscles with Kegels so that I could have the strength to push him out and we did a little bit of perineal massage. Apparently those are the keys to easy pushing! The mirror helped me to see how well I was pushing because I was still completely numb. I pushed a tiny bit and he flew down and stayed down! He never went back in like I was instructed would happen. I could see his hair in the mirror so I kept a finger on the exposed portion and stroked his head as I pushed. It took a few quick pushes to get him to crown and then I lost my nerve. It looked like it was going to tear so I got scared and tried to suck him back in! Duh, that didn't work but I refused to push. I just waited. But it didn't take long for my next contraction to hit and my body just pushed his head out without my help and I didn't tear! The cord was around his neck so the doctor told me to stop while she unwound it and then give "one more push" to get his body out.

I was told later that pushing lasted about 10 minutes but it seemed like 3.

The doctor placed Auron on my belly and I put him to the breast but he wasn't ready to nurse, so we just cuddled for a few minutes while the corded finished pulsing. He had some fluid in his lungs and was having a hard time getting it out so I let them take him for a couple of minutes to deep suction. I had planned on cutting the cord so after the doctor told me that it had stopped, I cut it and the nurses took him. At that point, my placenta was ready for delivery so I gave a small push and it came out easily.

Auron was brought back to me after about 2 minutes and he latched right on and had a good hour-long nurse while Daniel took the first picture (on the breast!) and sent it to friends and family:

We werent' allowed to go to the maternity ward until I could successfully urinate so when I was able to walk, I attempted it a few times, but I couldn't gain control of my muscles to make it work. I think when the catheter was placed, I was straining through a contraction and it damaged my urethra because I felt pain with every small strain for 6 months after birth and it's still not right nearly 2 years later. So I lied. "I finally peed!" And they let us move so that we could rest and they stopped trying to harrass the pee out of me.

We were transferred and Daniel slept for the next 19 hours (give or take!). Auron nursed for an hour on each breast twice and then crashed for about 8 or 9 hours. The nurses normally freak out about this amount of time without a feeding right after birth but being trained in breastfeeding, I knew it was normal. He didn't even lose that much weight before we left. Born at 6lbs 13oz, he went down to 6lbs 10oz, even having a long period of not eating!

We went home the day after I had him and I felt so good that I helped Daniel clean house to get ready for Chloe to come home and meet her baby brother. She took it well. She wasn't jealous of him but she was stand-offish toward me.

The only discomfort that I felt from the birth was some major swelling from pushing him out so fast. I loved my VBAC even though it wasn't perfect. Next time, I want to do it without meds!

The stats:

Auron Luke Hunter

Born February 24th at 4:44 a.m.

at 6 lbs 13 oz

approximately 2 weeks early

36 hour combined labor

10 hour "real labor"

My first blog post ever!

I started this blog as a place where I can vent and share the crazy, cool, and cute things that happen in my life.

We've sustained over 6 years of marriage and now have two incredibly smart kids that drive me crazy most of the time but who I adore with every fiber of my being. It's baffling to me how fast they grow and I try to always remember that the time that they are small like this will be gone in the blink of an eye so I have to cherish it while it's here. I hope to add at least one more to our Adventure at some point.