Finally back!

My laptop crashed and I finally got a new one (thank you Mom!) so I can start blogging again. Here's what's happened since my last post...
I had my baby! Celeste Lily was born on November 4th, 3 days late. It was the greatest birth experience I could have hoped for and we're really enjoying having her in our family.
Celeste is now 2 months old and is getting so big! She was born weighing 7lbs 6oz and 21in long. At her 2 month appointment, she weighed 12 lbs 10oz and was 24 3/4in long, putting her at the 88th percentile for weight, 96th percentile for height and 77th percentile for head circumference. She's a big girl!

She started smiling, laughing, and playing in the last couple of weeks and it's great. Chloe and Auron absolutely love her and are always showering her with love and affection. Chloe is an especially proud big sister. She has surprised me with the amount of maturity she has when dealing with Celeste. She will hold her and rock her. She even made her stop crying and go to sleep once. I was amazed.

Since Celeste was born, time has flown by. Before I knew it, the holidays were upon us and I just wasn't ready! It all ended up being fine and we had a joyous holiday season with family. The kids really enjoyed Christmas.

A new year began and so did a new school term. I got back to two classes since dropping down to one per term and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed already. I only have three terms to go before I graduate and luckily the classes are all electives and are subjects that are interesting to me. This term I am taking two nutrition classes, which I love, so I'm excited about learning more.

I'll be posting my birth story in my next post.

36 weeks

36 Weeks Pregnant

Your baby continues to put on weight by about 1/2 pound each week. It's no wonder the womb is becoming very cramped. Your baby is gaining weight quickly because layers of fat pile on and help in both body temperature regulation and developing his immunity in preparation for life in the outside world. You may find you are carrying your baby much lower now (or soon will be) as the baby drops into the birth canal, readying himself for birth. Your baby is about 19 inches long and weighs from 5.5 to 6.0 pounds. The vast majority of babies born now will live with little need for intensive medical treatment.

My due date is fast approaching, being one month from yesterday. My contentedness with this pregnancy is running out. I know this is normal but I was hoping it would last longer. The biggest annoyance is the pain in my tail bone from the fall I took a couple of weeks ago. My midwife described to me what she thought happened since I was confused about how I could possibly hurt my tailbone by falling on my hands and knees. She said what probably happened was the impact of me falling made the baby's head slam into my tailbone and now it's inflamed and the muscles are trying to compensate for the torqued tailbone. It seems to be getting worse every day. Hopefully I can get into see the chiropractor at my next appointment since I missed it this week.

I had a good appointment this week. Everything looked good and I miraculously only gained ONE POUND! I must be nesting so much that I'm burning all the calories I'm consuming. I have now gained 23 pounds; MUCH less than my previous pregnancies.

I finally got to meet the midwife's apprentice who will be assisting during my delivery and Daniel and I both really like her.

I talked to my midwife about labor and what to expect since I've never gone through the actual delivery of my babies without a spinal or epidural. Hopefully I'm prepared enough for that. I also talked to her about my frustrations with Daniel refusing to be in the birthing tub with me and she explained to me that guys are different when it comes to birth- they don't see it as a beautiful process that should necessarily be treasured on every level, they're more concerned about the safety and messiness of it all. She encouraged me to give him a break and let him handle it as he feels comfortable because it's all he can really do and the fact that he's willing to be there with me through it all and not just say, "I can't do this" and walk out (apparently it happens sometimes!) is something that I should appreciate and accept. I feel much better about it now that she helped me put it into perspective.

I did the Group B Strep test and she felt the baby's positioning and heartrate, which were both good.

I go back in two weeks when I will be 37 weeks. Let's see where my patience is standing at that point...

34 Weeks- Fleeting Time

I cannot believe I am merely 6 weeks away from my due date. As any woman at this stage, I have mixed feelings. I'd love to be relieved of all of my pregnancy ailments, but I'm also clutching the last few moments as a mother of 2, family of 4. I'm trying to spend as much time with Chloe and Auron as possible while I can since I'll be so occupied breastfeeding and kangaroo-caring my new little Yummy.



Last night when we put the kids to bed, Auron was feeling particularly clingy, so I cradled him in my lap while I sat on my exercise ball and bounced him to sleep, knowing that the time I have to rock (or bounce) him to sleep uninterrupted is closing, moment-by-moment. And I felt a sense of sadness. My baby boy is no longer going to be the baby and I won't be able to devote so much time cuddling (and, yes, coddling) him as I have done for the past two and a half years. He'll be pushed to the "older sibling" slot and he'll have to deal with my diverted attention to a new baby brother or sister. I'm not sure how well he'll handle the transition, as much as he seems excited about the prospect of a new baby.


Chloe was never jealous of Auron. She handled the situation in a different way. She hated me and replaced me with her daddy. In fact, she began doing this when I weaned her 5 months before his birth when I (traumatically) weaned her from the breast. She felt I rejected her by refusing to connect with her the way we had always done and adding a new baby that got my mostly-undivided attention only made it worse. We've reconnected over time and are mostly healed, but I wonder what may have happened had I waited longer to have Auron, as I have done with this baby (which will be a 31-month difference compared to the 23-month spacing of my first two).


I know that somehow we will all get through this adjustment as all families with a new baby have done and I believe that having the experience of Chloe to Chloe + Auron will help us to handle the situation with more wisdom and tact.


As for the pregnancy, it is continuing well. I had gained 6 pounds between my last two appointments (2 weeks apart), putting me up to 22 pounds in total; still not bad although it is a bit much for a two-week period. I guess I'll start watching my late night snacking a bit. Baby was still vertex and my midwife predicted it to be a boy. Daniel still needs to find a boy's name but he did an excellent job of picking the most beautiful girl's name (which will not be revealed until the birth). I had chosen Lily several months ago for a first name, but the name he came up with was so spectacular that I demoted it to middle name status.


I've been having many more Braxton Hicks contractions lately which were made much worse when I took a fall yesterday. I went to the neighbor's house to retrieve my silly dog that had escaped and when I got her on the leash, she jerked forward to try to chase one of the neighbor dogs that runs loose and I lost my balance in the gravel and fell forward, cutting my hand and leg and deeply cutting into my pride. My uterus was very irritated for most of the day after this and made me uncomfortable and a little worried. I knew I would probably not be thrust into early labor and was glad that I could shield my belly from the impact with my hands, so everything turned out fine.


I ordered my birthing kit online yesterday as well as the start of nursing bras. I began packing my birthing center bag as well so I continue to feel more and more prepared with each step. I also ordered some incredibly divine ichiko shochu which is Japanese barley vodka that I sampled while in Los Angeles to use for my placenta tincture. By the way- holy cow, shipping on mail-order alcohol is ridiculous!! It was $20 for shipping for a $19-dollar bottle of alcohol! ...I should have just taken the time and found it in Albuquerque. Oh well, live and learn.


I will be able to deliver at the birth center at 36 weeks, so I have 2 more weeks to keep this baby in here so that I can avoid an icky hospital experience. I keep feeling like this baby is going to come sooner than my desired 4 days late (November 5th is my grandparent's anniversary), but I'm doing my best to keep him/her inside until we have reached full term.


This weekend is my baby shower and I am very excited about celebrating this baby with my closest friends and family.

Chloe’s Birth: The child who made me a mother.

It took a year to conceive her, with a miscarriage at 10 weeks in the middle that ended on Easter, 2005. I knew the moment it happened that she was with me. I took a pregnancy test 3 days before my cycle was due and it was positive. That was the only home pregnancy test I ever took with her. My pregnancy was filled with dreams of meeting her and the new life to come. It was a healthy pregnancy with no complications until the end. I was not very active and probably ate too much; I gained 42 pounds, topping the scales at almost 190 pounds.

My due date came and went and a 6-mile walk with Daniel did no good but cause fatigue. Finally, 6 days after my due date, my water broke. It was 2:30pm on Wednesday, March 28th. I called Daniel home from work so that we could drive an hour to the hospital, not knowing how quickly labor would be. My mom came with us and I kept a notebook, timing contractions that started about 45 minutes after the water broke. They were very gentle and not coming frequently in the beginning.

Arriving at triage, I am 2 centimeters dilated and am told to walk around the hospital and eat lightly so we head down to Subway and try to get labor going. We walk and walk and walk. Eventually we go back and get set up in a room. The birthing suites were very nice and comfortable. Visitors begin arriving. I’m checked occasionally and am not progressing very quickly, despite the increasing pain of the contractions. Family and friends who were well-meaning ended up making me feel out of sorts and stressed, extending labor further.

Fast-forward to the next evening, 28 hours after water broke. I’ve dilated to 8 centimeters and things are going downhill. By this point, I have no energy to stay on top of the contractions and exhaustion is getting the best of me. I end up sleeping through the contractions in the last few hours. The baby stops responding to the contractions and is not fully engaged in the pelvis and the on-call midwife is concerned about my water being broken for so long (with so many vaginal exams, infection is likely). I’m talked into a dose of an IV drug, Nubain. It does nothing but make me even more tired. An amnioinfusion is done to try to cushion the baby, in hope of making her relax and come down the birth canal. As far as I can tell this has no effect. I’m also instructed to get on my hands and knees to help with her descent. This is difficult because the contractions are killing me and I have zero energy.

Finally, “c-section” is brought up and I have no fight left in me to combat this idea. The midwife explains the combination of factors that make it seem like the best option: water broken past 24 hours, “failure to progress” (which I suspect was not true), failure to engage, fetal distress, and maternal exhaustion. I agree and am wheeled into the OR for the prep.

In the OR, I’m told to sit up so that I can receive my spinal and have one last contraction. The anesthesiologist says, “That may be the last contraction you ever feel.” Once I’m numb and ready for the procedure, Daniel’s brought in, dressed in scrubs and a mask. Most of it’s a blur because I’m in and out of consciousness, trying to stay awake for the birth of my baby. Then she’s out and I hear crying. “5:56 pm.” The nurse asks me if I want “a little margarita” in my IV and I just nod. Then I’m asleep. Once the rest is over and I’m all sewn up, I’m wheeled into the private recovery room where Daniel and my sweet little girl are waiting. I get to hold her 30-45 minutes after she’s born and, although I’m dead tired and half-numb, I am so relieved to have her out and see that she’s healthy.

One stupid thought I had when I was being wheeled into the OR and after the c-section was, “Oh, thank God. Now it’ll just be me and Daniel and since visiting hours are now over and everyone else has to come back tomorrow to see my new baby, I’ll have her to myself!” That was definitely a perk!

I try to nurse her right away in the recovery room, with the help of the nurse and it’s not exactly successful, but it’s a good time to get acquainted. I continue trying to breastfeed her over the next few days and it proves very difficult. Chloe was born with her tongue sticking out. I mean, her head was born, sticking out of me, and she’s looking up at the doctors with her tongue sticking out at them- not a happy girl. Turned out that she kept it out for the next 3 months and that made it hard for her to learn breastfeeding and I experienced cracked, bleeding nipples. Since I refused formula (it was never an option for me) and breastfeeding wasn’t getting the job done, she developed moderate jaundice. She was put under the bili-lights for 24-36 hours because her level got up to 19 and the doctors got concerned. So we spent most of that time in the nursery with her, feeding, cuddling her, and holding her under the lights.

Finally I received a visit from the midwife who had taken care of my prenatal care and we discuss the birth and the breastfeeding problems. I had been visited previously from an on-staff lactation consultant who did nothing to improve the situation except frustrate and confuse me and piss off Chloe by shoving her onto my breast. My midwife suggested I try the “football” hold. We get her all setup, I move her in slow-motion toward my breast to latch on and… it works. Since that latch-on, she nursed like a champ. I continued to have soreness from the previous damage, but it healed after that and my temporary use of a nipple shield was discontinued.

Afterbirth experience

Once home, I was stuck in bed to recover with my new tiny angel and Percocet. I had Daniel there helping me for the first week or so but I couldn’t tell you what it was like because the drugs had me so out of it that it’s all a haze. Somehow we made it through that time without any drug-induced mishaps and I eventually come out of the Percocet Haze. Once it was just me and my girl, I settle into a routine of cuddle, nurse, nap, cuddle, but something is amiss.

As I described in a previous post, my uterus was not ready to let go of her and experienced its own version of post-traumatic stress disorder which was cured with sessions of closeness between the two.

I went on to breastfeed Chloe until she was 18 ½ months old, when I was 4 months pregnant with her little brother.

She still has the stick-your-tongue-out-at-the-world attitude. That’s my girl!

31 weeks

I had a major freakout when I thought I was leaking amniotic fluid this week. It turned out to be an infection easily cured with OTC meds. This close call got me inspired to complete the tasks that still needed to be done in preparation for this baby. I needed to buy a carseat, and that I ordered online this evening (check!), and we need to come up with a boy name. Daniel's in charge of the first name and the middle name's up to me, so I am going to try to come up with a list that I like to present to him for his vote (we always have veto rights on each other's choices). I find name-searching to be tedious and annoying and this is why I haven't done it yet.
At my emergency midwife appointment yesterday, I went ahead and did my regular checkup stuff. I had some protein in my urine and leukocytes (related to the infection), baby had turned head-down, yay!, and I had lost 3 lbs since my last appointment, bringing me down to a total gain of 15 lbs for the pregnancy so far. My midwife told me to be sure not to restrict my food, which is never a problem for me because I love to eat. I've never gained this little during a pregnancy before. I gained 42 with Chloe and 31 with Auron and I don't see myself doubling my weight gain in the next 9 weeks or so.

After she reviewed my ultrasound with the perinatologist, my midwife gave me the green light for an out-of-hospital delivery. I am so relieved to have this information so that I can finally plan my birth. I am clear to order my birthing kit and pack my birthing center bag. I don't have to worry about having a babysitter for what might be days at a time for the kids and have the option to have them there with me when I deliver. For this, I am keeping and open mind. If things go smoothly and work out, then we may bring them with us to the birthing center. I don't want to have any expectations about this so that I can try to make the best decision possible for the time, so I'm trying not to think about it very much except for the fact that I want someone to come with us to take care of them. But who??

So my pregnancy update checklist for week 31 is this:

•How far along?: 31 weeks.


•Total weight gain: 15 lbs. Thank you veggie subs and being way too busy!

•How big is baby?: depending on where you search, the baby is about 3- 3.5 lbs and can be up to 18 inches long.

•Maternity clothes?: Mostly, but I do have some jeans that ride low enough to wear under the belly.

•Stretch marks?: No new ones as far as I can tell, although there may be one on my breast...

•Sleep?: Sleep has not been great lately. I can't seem to get into a comfortable position and something ends up aching. Once I finally get in a good position, one of the kids always wakes me up for something. UGH!

•Best moment this week?: Finding out that the baby is okay- no premie so far, that he/she is vertex again, and finally being able to plan my sweet birthing center birth.

•Movement?: Of course movement is getting more intense and the baby goes through this moments of hurricane shaking. I'm not sure what's going on in there, but I can tell that this child is getting very strong!

•Food cravings?: Same as always, foot-long vegetable subs with extra cheese and mayo.

•Labor signs?: Besides the false leaking, no. I did have a few painful contractions last week when I was feeling completely exhausted physically and emotionally, but a 2-hr nap fixed that right up.

•Belly button in or out?: Forever out. But at least it doesn't hurt like it used to!

•What I miss: Being able to maneuver around without being slow or something aching.

•What I'm looking forward to: Getting closer to delivery time. I am excited about this birth!

•Milestone: I am now in single digit weeks! 63 days and counting although I am expecting to go late like I did with Chloe.

In the clear...?

I had my ultrasound today to determine the location of my placenta in reference to my c-section incision. The tech was much better- seemed to be more experienced and knowledgeable. He did some (seemingly unnecessary) checking on the heart, measurements, etc., before getting to the point. After some "doing" he concluded that the edge of the placenta was about 2-3 centimeters from the edge of the scar but he's "not 100% on that." Okayy, I hope he's right because, and I don't know much about this but, it seems like 2-3 centimeters is pretty close! I'll get the full report when I go to my next appointment on the 30th.

He also said that the baby's in a breech/transverse position. This worries me because it's the exact position Chloe was stuck in when I had the version with her (luckily it was successful). I was told at that time that my septic uterus would cause my babies to gravitate toward being in this position. Although the version totally sucked and was painful and scary, it was definitely worth avoiding a c-section. Ironically, I had one anyway, but it was not because she was breech. If I have to have a version again with this baby, I will but I am interested to see if my midwife is willing to deliver a breech baby... I will update on that once I find out.

He estimated that the baby weighs 3 pounds and is a week ahead of my due date. He/she passed the heart check test, "8 out of 8." That's my baby! Gettin' A's already! =)

Post-Appt Update

The appointment went well; I had my blood drawn for the glucose test, signed some consent forms for some of the newborn procedural stuff, and found out that I gained 10 lbs since my appoitment 5 weeks ago. This isn't surprising since I have been pretty immobile from this stupid back pain. I have had a few episodes of faintness accompanied by shakiness and some nausea despite my continual nourishment. She suggested that I buy iron drops since it sounds to her like I'm anemic and that's what's causing these problems. Oops, I should probably start taking that!

Anyway, we talked about the ultrasound that I had done and the report that she received on it. She spoke with the peri and they agreed that it has to be redone since the tech didn't know what the frick he was doing and didn't get enough shots of the placenta to know if I'm in the clear. I have yet to hear back from the office for scheduling of that scan.

After the appointment, I went to my chiropractor appointment and it took him about 4 minutes to realign my pelvis, which he said was all outta whack. I have felt much better since that adjustment. I go back in 3 weeks when my next midwife appointment is scheduled.

So I'm down 28 weeks, up 18 pounds, and still don't know where I will be delivering. I'll hold off ordering my birthing kit until I know if I'm high or low risk.

Once I get over this cold that is surfacing, I'm going to make it a point to start being more active so as to avoid blimping out and gaining a bunch of weight.